hard work

i have to let go.

nobody said it was going to be easy.

you probably wont understand.

you probably blame me for everything.

you probably think everything was fine, why did you have to go and mess it up?

which i have to admit, is true in the deepest section of my heart.

i mess up, because i can’t get what i want.

what do i want? i want you.

i dont want to be another friend you care for.

i dont want to be a personal friend. like the one in Chua-Soi-Lek-Scandal.

i want to have you, wholly to myself.

But i know that impossible. :smiles:

you never did promise me anything.

you never did say you wanted me by your side forever and ever.

you said, you wanted to be my friend.

and truthfully, that was what i should have settled for in the first place, instead of indulging in this pseudo lover illusion.

i’m such a laughing stock.

i’m sorry i blamed you. coz the fault lies with me, in the first place, doesnt it?

i should have been smarter.

i should have read your fine print closer.

just take my time.

i’ll forget about you someday.

i’m not missing you

i think, the only way i’m gonna stop this pathetic moping is to completely forget you.

i’ll freeze us in time.

and there wont be anymore of you in my life.

there wont be any need for any more of these sad radio songs..

or seeing your name everywhere..

and this is the right choice.

its not the most comfortable nor happy one, but i think its the best choice i ever made.

its whats good for me. i dont know about you, but it is for me.

-

I wonder if I can pick myself up after this.

Wonder if I’ll be the same.

There’s too much of me that was with him. It’s like we fused together. And, not or. If one of us left, the other would not be here either.

I don’t want to leave.

in case i never got to tell you..

i care for you, more than any friend i know. its not love, but its something equivalent, that’s close.

i dont feel comfortable calling it love because… i usually say i love you if i’m going to be with that person forever. and i know that with you, i cant.

and i probably dont want to, either.

I

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When it reflects you back

And not someone else

It’s a relief

I’ve found myself back.